


The time between the pages

by Violetscented



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, in the closet, secret meetings, swanqueen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violetscented/pseuds/Violetscented
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was asked on Tumblr if I could do something angsty and as this oneshot was already half-written I decided to finish it. Regina and Emma are still in the closet but have secret meetings on a nearby beach some mornings. It’s sad and hopefully slightly poetic. It’s set around season 4B in canon but they are both single at this point. (You can see a happy ending if you squint!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The time between the pages

As she drove she looked out for the Leaving Storybrooke sign, just as she always did when she left town. Laying on the seat next to her was her replica of the scroll which would allow her to return to the cloaked town, the original being safe in the hands of Emma Swan. The blonde would leave Storybrooke later, probably in five or ten minutes.

That was the way they always did it, anything to not rouse suspicion. Of course that was easier now that neither of them was involved with a man, although Regina wished that Emma would have ended her relationship with Hook before they finally gave in to each other, like she herself had with Robin. However, she had to concede that her relationship with Robin had been shakier than Emma and Hook's had been so maybe it was easier for her.

She gripped the wheel tight and tried to ignore the cold feeling in the pit of her stomach, the cold feeling that she knew would soon spread its icy tendrils through her - guilt. They were being secret, being hidden, being heartbroken out of fear.

They stole their meetings down on the deserted beach. They had to steal them because she and Emma were all wrong on paper. They were enemies, Emma was half her natural age, they had too much dark history as Regina has spent decades torturing Emma's parents, she had been Emma's step- grandmother for a short while and they were both women in a very heterosexual little town.

To add to all of this, their son had lived through so much drama and pain and didn't need the added bonus of the mess that would occur when his famous mothers came out as a couple. And they, well they  _reacted to each other_... like two substances drawn to each other but not compatible. Everything was fire with them and nothing was ever easy. When they had calm moments they could share a rootbeer or fight a monster together but then something would happen and they would be hurting each other once more.

Regina parked her Mercedes as close to the beach as she could and got out. She stood by the car and waited, the wind wreaking havoc with her dark hair. She took a deep breath, it smelled of salt and the autumn air. A gust of wind blew straight through Regina's many layers and made her cold to her bones. It didn't matter, the few moments she was about to get with Emma until they had to go back to their lives and pretend to be  _just friends_  would be worth freezing for. Other than Henry, those moments were the only ones were Regina felt truly alive again. Alive as she hadn't been since she was a young girl.

A few yards away she saw Emma's yellow bug pull up and the blonde got out. She moved confidently and easily, as if they were not here concealing their secret romance but actually just meeting up for a friendly chat, but as she passed by Regina saw her face and saw the tension and sadness on it. Instead of walking up to Regina, Emma went straight to the beach. She didn't stop until her boots were sole-deep in the slightly damp sand, then she stood looking out at the ocean and hooking her thumbs into her belt loops.

Regina watched her for a few seconds, this strong but damaged woman who was so right for her and yet so wrong. Regina knew that she never stood a chance of resisting Emma Swan. She walked down to join Emma, glad for her choice of elegant black boots and not her usual heels which had been ruined in the sand too many times already.

When she was right next to Emma she could smell the blonde's hairspray. The hairspray was supposed to be holding the recently made curls in Emma's hair in place despite the ocean breeze. They both knew that the curls would slowly falter as the day went on due to the beating they took on the windy beach. Thus, they both knew that on the mornings they met Emma took the time to create the curls  _simply for Regina's benefit_. She knew how Regina loved it when her blonde tresses fell into those soft curls. Regina reached out to stroke one now and Emma gave a faint smile at the gesture.

The second Regina's well-manicured fingers left the curl, Emma opened her leather jacket and moved forward to embrace her, pulling her so close that Regina could feel her heartbeat as if it was in her own body. Regina nestled into the slightly taller woman's neck and felt Emma's pulse point against the tip of her nose.

Emma wrapped her open leatherjacket around Regina to warm her and to bring her even closer, just as she always did. Regina nestled into the warmth, she wondered why Emma was always warmer than everyone else? It was like the blonde had a constant fire burning in her chest.

They were standing underneath the cliffs and so they couldn't be seen by anyone not immediately close to them. That unique feeling hit them both then. That feeling of time slowing down and the relief of being able to be themselves. They weren't being strong for anyone, they weren't wearing a mask hiding their emotions and they didn't have to worry about being used or hurt.

It struck Regina that this moment had its own magic. She wondered what it was that so important about this stolen and secret meeting. Then with startling clarity she thought,

_This is the time between the pages. This moment will not be recorded on the paper, it will not be read by anyone or laid dormant waiting to be discovered on a yellowing page. This moment is just ours. Only if you were here when it happened can you ever know. It occurred outside of time, outside of reality. It can never be discovered because it was ever only half- real. This is just ours._

Tears welled up in her eyes and she pulled away from the safety of Emma's neck to look at her lover and then kiss her, feeling the tears finally fall down her cheeks and wet Emma's cheeks as well as they slowly trickled down.

When the kiss ended, Emma's voice, breaking and uneven, whispered "we have to stop this. This isn't enough anymore."

Regina sniffed softly and nodded. "I know, but for now… hold me again and let's keep this moment for just us. Everything else can wait."

Emma smiled faintly and pulled Regina close to her, melding their bodies together and sinking back into the silence of the time between the pages.


End file.
